Benjamin Button

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button from Even Lin

Tonight I saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button with a friend. Incidentally, I once said that I wanted to start alienating this particular friend for various reasons, but I am glad I never went through with that plan, because we've both grown up. Despite our infrequent get-togethers, I enjoy my time with her and I was pleased to see, today, that we can have mature conversation mixed in with a smattering of laughter. That's really all I need in a friendship, to start.

The film was beautiful but very long (by the 2-hour mark I was wistfully recalling the cautionary words of A, who said that to watch a movie is to invest a considerable amount of time and sometimes mental energy). Because of its beauty, I was distracted from the general theme of death until the very end, by which point I was surprised to have been so blind to the abundance of depressing themes.

To my movie-going companion I bemoaned the fact that the film's enlightening, insightful messages about life were so subtle. They were there, to be sure, but the story seemed so very plot-driven that these poignant insights were skated over and left back in the too-short moments of the story's greatest emotional depth.

Nevertheless, it made me think about time and cherishing life. I have so loved, in the past few weeks, encountering these grand themes in such salient forms; the world seems to be telling me something beautiful.

Blogging

flowers in december by °°k°°.

Blogging, all of a sudden, has as many strange quirks and customs as the real world. There are "right" ways to blog and "wrong" ways, and there even seem to be formulas for how to become rich and successful while blogging. It's kind of silly and kind of maddening. You're supposed to have a theme for your blog if you want to attract more visitors and readers, apparently. You've got to be organized and to only just divulge enough of your life to be enticing but safe.

I guess my problem with blogging "success" (aside from my gratuitous use of unnecessary quotes) is that I always thought of it as a personal journal that happened to be open to the public. That was all. And a personal journal doesn't necessarily have a theme. I mean, perhaps posthumously, with some knowledge about the author, you could summarize the thing sort of generally, like with Anne Frank. She was a girl who matured very quickly during an extremely arduous period both historically and personally. But when I blog or journal, it's generally not with these sort of themes in mind. 13 Years of Clutter was definitely the exception, because I had a specific project to document. But otherwise, my thought process does not work in a way conducive to these themes.

However, I do very much admire people who can channel their intriguing thoughts into this format and garner attention and well-deserved praise for it. With that, here are some of the blogs and sites I have been admiring lately. Some may be repeats, but let's just say it's for the purpose of list-making.

• iCiNG: Inspirational, fashionable and upbeat, Gala Darling's site is everything I could ever want lately. She always links amazing things/people and has a lot of optimism to share.


• Project: Happily Ever After: This lady has decided to create a "project" for the things in her life that cause unhappiness. I like this approach a lot, and the idea that you can consciously change what you don't like about life is appealing to my current mindset.


• Debauchette: NSFW, generally. There is a lot of sex writing in this call-girl/"courtesan"'s blog, but the mystery woman is truly intelligent and sees the world in such an interesting way that I do recommend it, in spite of its inherent controversy. Judge her all you want, judge me for valuing her writing - if you shed your expectations for this blog you may find some really hard-hitting insight about human nature and society.


• Decorating Nature: Less a blog than a quick collection of some amazing, creative photographs. :)


• an aesthetic feast: Fashionable and food-loving, this girl posts such cute things and has a strangely captivating writing voice.


• The "Blog" of "Unnecessary" Quotation Marks: Just for fun. :) I love hilarity and irony.

Salon

De-cluttering is slow going. Mostly because I'm afraid of incurring my mother's wrath if I should throw away something she hasn't approved. I continue to be overwhelmed by how much crap - namely, storage bins and boxes - can fill this place and how little it will be possible to shut it all away for the purposes of a streamlined home look.

Anyway, my biggest plan for the break, other than de-cluttering, was thinking and reflection. I have indeed been doing a lot of that, but ironically enough, it's been mindless in form. I sit and read articles and the occasional blog online all day, pause to read a bit of a book or two, then eat awful food. So I thought I would share, over the next few posts (if I can be bothered to stay invested enough in the theme for that long), the links I've been frequenting.

Salon.

I'm not entirely sure what I enjoy most about this online mag thing called Salon. It could be the Life section dominated largely by advice from Cary Tennis. Or maybe their end-of-year book recap that has left me with plentiful new literary recommendations, ones I will probably never have the time to finish. Their movies section is also getting a lot of traffic from me because I'm real into the ideas of lots of movies right now. That was a dumb sentence.

Anyway the article that really made me interested in Salon was "What your loneliness is telling you," not because of any particular home-hitting value in the article, but because it is intelligently written and reminded me, in the second-to last paragraph, of the very thing I am striving to do this winter.

One of the things that our culture really tries to discourage is thinking, reflection, seriousness. I think that we have to have more confidence in our ability to be thoughtful people.

Home again, home again

I'm home for winter break! My break is always unreasonably long (ha ha, I'm not gloating) and my friends usually return to school before me, so I think I may very well be continuing my de-cluttering project over the next month.

Returning home has already been somewhat stressful. Even aside from all the traveling (I was en route for almost 12 hours yesterday, which doesn't sound bad, but it was real bad), I came home to find that my mother needs $1,000 from me to pay off her old University of Phoenix debts or something. It really depresses me and troubles me that my mother needs so much financial help to me, even though I'm only twenty years old and don't even have my own stable source of income besides the work study that I do to support my educational finances.

Discovering that she needed to borrow from me today put me in quite a bad mood, but then I spent some time with my best friends here at home and had such a good time that it relieved some stress. They are the one constant that I can rely on for smiles and good memories - the real reason I come home, honestly. I would say that I come home to see my family, but actually my family stresses me out. I think this is true for a lot of people. (Is it?)

So in order to avoid family woes as much as possible, I am planning on devoting my time to things that make me happy over this break:

• De-cluttering. The house looks rather worse than I think I left it, despite my mother's claims that it is better. But de-cluttering always gives me a strong sense of satisfaction that I intend to re-invoke while I'm back.


• Reading. A new guy friend of mine has inspired me to be more thoughtful. I have been a fan of the library since the end of high school (it sounds weird to say that - maybe I'm a late library-bloomer?), and I'm thinking of getting some Umberto Eco and perhaps Oscar Wilde to curl up with.


• Being creative. The same friend has inspired me to be more creative with my time. All of my past breaks from school have involved relaxing via mind-numbing intake of non-enriching media. But I do love music, and I love the prospect of writing (the act itself is a slightly different story). There are several projects in these arenas that I want to throw myself back into.


• Spending time with my friends. Friendship is one of the most beautiful things I have right now, and that may sound cliched, but only because the truth about friendship has already been discovered millions of times over. I love my friends.

Denying Responsibility

It sure is annoying how a boy can make you think about him constantly even when you no longer want to, isn't it? I'm actually pretty pissed at him, but we don't need to go into that.

This excerpt about the subversive nature of love is pretty interesting. Despite having never been in love, it makes a lot of sense to me, because of the way I imagine love to be.

Here in the dorms it seems like love and relationships are the only things on the girls' minds. How bittersweet, seeing as we'll be leaving for a long break in about two weeks.

TiLT

Things i Love Today:

- the guy who brushed his fingertips along the Christmas trees lining Astor Place between Lafayette and Broadway, smiling to himself
- fallen leaves on the ground that look like paper stars when the light catches them and I see them out of the corner of my eye
- hearing two guys singing this song in unison as I walked down Washington Place
- getting an 88 on the Human Development test I thought I failed and then getting it raised to a 92
- when my entire German class exclaims in upset unison about getting a recent test back. Those kids are too much haha.

"Rabbit rabbit"

Happy December! I have not been posting much, not for lack of exciting material. Thanksgiving was a really great break for me. I went to D.C. and had a very cathartic, enlightening conversation with my good friend S on the bus back to New York at 10 p.m. Saturday. The two of us discovered, among other things, that the present does not exist - only the past and future - and felt very wise/deep.

But the most valuable thing I took away from the conversation was something S imparted to me while we were discussing our respective, overwhelming levels of stress. She said, and it is so simple: Thinking about the things that stress you out is not going to help you. I told you, simple! But it's something that has helped me immensely in the past few days to control my stress level. For the first time, I am really taking things one step at a time. This morning, I woke up with that familiarly vague sense of panic that my day ahead was going to bring chaos and stress, but I murmured, "First things first. Get up and eat breakfast." And it soothed me.

It remains to be seen whether this attitude is a false sense of security about all the stressful things I still have to accomplish. But whatever it is, it's a quick fix that seems to be working.

Anyway, here is a really cool song that LJ user binsybaby, a very talented artist, posted today. It's a 8-bit Nintendo version of You Can't Hurry Love. !! I loved that song already, but this makes it even more awesome.

Looking back, as usual

I am such a sucker for nostalgia. It amazes me in a lot of ways. Mainly in the way that, as I am making all these memories, I think nothing of them. But then, when I get in that mood - that warm, excited mood that comes with reliving the good parts of my past - they all flood back in a kind of sepia-tinted rush. Memories and colors fill my head andI feel a very particular sensation of good old times.

I was looking through my folder of saved e-mail correspondences, and I found one I kept in 2004 with a guy who read my blog. I was taking Latin over the summer at Berkeley, and I think I linked to his site, having followed the bread crumbs of other ATDP (Berkeley's Academic Talent Development Program) blogs to find it. He was very encouraging, complimenting me on my maturity and writing style, which sounds so child molesty and suspicious, but it was completely harmless. We definitely had similar ways of thinking, and it interests me so much to look back at the person I was when writing those e-mails back and forth, and to think about how much he has probably changed too. (I don't read his members-only blog anymore, for fear of finding a less idealized version of him than the one I knew back then through our e-mails. Silly, I know.)

Knowing this fixation on my own pathetic autobiography is so present worries me a little. Maybe I'm too stuck in the past. The present certainly never seems like much while I'm living it.

...Well, that's not entirely what I mean.

What I mean is that, while I'm in the present, I feel like I'm not accomplishing anything. And that is a very pessimistic, very me way of seeing things. Because surely I am accomplishing things all the time. I won't try to instill this reflection with any silly, self-comforting pride, but things do happen in my life, and whether they are huge, impressive awards or epiphanies or not, they are part of my progressing life. I don't need to feel held back or unaccomplished just because I am not making the great strides that others take pride in.

This may be turning into a grand glorification of laziness.

I guess the thing that this all relates to is Paris, Je T'Aime. I watched it for the first time today, and I felt a strange connection with the woman in the short film about falling in love with Paris. She speaks French with sort of an endearingly terrible accent and is quite a simple person, all things said and done. And all she wants is someone to share things with, someone to share Paris with. She doesn't find someone in the five minutes of the film; it's not really that kind of optimism. The optimism of the short film though, comes at the end, when she realizes, sitting alone on a bench eating a sandwich in a comfortably busy park, that she and Paris are falling in love. That's the kind of person I think I am.

I Am Angel Deverell...

So yesterday I went to see Angel, and it was kind of good that I didn't make it into a date of any kind, but I liked it. The over-the-top satirical romance was a little aggravating at times, but what I really enjoyed about the movie were the assorted moments where color, music and mood rushed together to create beautiful, comfortably almost-nostalgic images for my romantic appreciation. I'm not sure how to better describe them, but they took me back to more innocent days of idealized love that I'd created in my head, in settings built solely for the depiction of that dream. I suppose I really need an escape, lately, and Angel was good for that.

Now, however, I am back to procrastinating work and waking up guilty and stressed about my mess of a life.

Early Christmas Spirit

This weekend, I successfully got myself in over my head with Christmas mood preparyness. My friend C and I ate her homemade (vegan!) apple-peach pie, soy chocolate ice cream, warm apple cider with a hint of cinnamon, and delighted in the Christmas joy that is Love Actually. Can I just say that that movie brings out the romantic in me? It does. Not only because Karl is immeasurably beautiful, but because the stories are all around pretty romantic and sweet. Except the ones that are heartbreaking. But you know.

I have been singing "All I Want For Christmas Is You" like a broken record, and it is finally getting pretty cold outside, so guess what guys! CHRISTMAS IS COMING!! But don't tell that to my pessimistic friend from Human Development class, who insists that this crazy thing called Thanksgiving has to come first. WHATEVER, Thanksgiving. I mock you and your birds and your corn and your thanks. Christmas will not be defeated.

This weekend, a friend from home is coming to visit, and I am planning to drag her out to Brooklyn so we can see Angel, an allegedly riotously sappy, romantic movie. There is snow in the poster photo, and that makes me happy. I just wish I had someone romantical to go with me to see it on a date. Yes a date. I have never dated in my life. But that would be a cute date and I would get us lost in deep dark Brooklyn but we would find a cozy little cafe with hardwood floors and crimson couches and smile at each other a lot, and kisses would probably be involved.

Continuing the De-clutter Saga

Just an update, to let you guys know that I haven't altogether given up de-cluttering just because I'm on the other side of the country. I've been amassing a large Duane Reade bag full of clothes that I don't like anymore. It's been sitting rather unattractively in the corner of my side of the room, so I finally took it to Goodwill today! I am so pleased that there's a Goodwill right on 23rd St., not even a block away from my dorm.

I didn't have time to do any shopping though, despite REALLY wanting to. It's too bad, because I could really use some new clothes to fill the space of the ones I didn't like anymore. I also want some things to decorate our apartment with, because it turns out I will not be studying abroad in Paris next semester like I thought I would. Luckily I was prepared for this possibility, and I'm now looking into summer study abroad programs. Don't worry. Anyway, it was a productive day today. :)

Sites I Like #8: Des meubles de cuisine à petits prix

Something I've noticed since spending lots of time in my new dream dorm is that, no matter how pretty and clean a place is when it's brand new, it takes a certain amount of effort to keep it looking nice and comfortable. Our kitchen is one place where our filthiness likes to manifest itself. Neither my roommate nor I do the dishes on a regular basis. Unless you could call "whenever we run out of dishes and decide to do them all in one fell swoop" regular. I'm kind of a hypocrite, because of my history with de-cluttering and my manic need for things to be organized in my California home but not in New York. But I feel like I'm allowed to be messy since I'm in college.

Whatever my excuse, our kitchen gets dirty. It's still pretty, but if you actually look at the floors and run a hand along the granite counter top, you might just recoil in disgust. And, instead of cleaning or doing the reading I need to do for Francophone Literature (in which I have an impossible-sounding midterm on Wednesday), I thought I would present you with this wonderful link to pictures of Low-Cost Kitchen Furniture. Enjoy! It's in French, but I mean... all you really need are the pictures. Maybe someday I will translate the blurbs as an exercise for myself, since I'm taking Translation now, but for now... I don't wanna learn. I do what I want! A lot like Mindy Kaling and Cartman.

NYU: Walking the Walk

So aside from feeling guilty that a) I haven't done any homework yet this long weekend (we have today and tomorrow off for "fall break" - HA) and b) I just spent a total of about $267 on a new coat and boots for myself (I actually feel kind of wretched and nervous, but I need these things! I essentially deconstructed my old coat because the cheap snaps fell off and I tried to re-sew them numerous times to utter failure), I would say I've had a pretty good weekend.

I went with C and her friend M to Prospect Park yesterday. It's in Brooklyn, for those who don't know. We had a lovely picnic, which resulted in the glorious gift of my having guacamole which now desperately needs some chips to go with it. We saw cute children on boats, many many wedding crews taking pictures, and the beginnings of fall colors. We also visited the zoo at the park and had a lot of fun randomly talking about and cooing over the animals.

After that we went on a tour of the Tenement Museum, which was very interesting! I'm not usually a history person, but I can take it in short bits like this; the tour was about an hour long. We learned that sometimes in the garment workers' working areas it would get to be 120 degrees! I thought that was unbelievable; I'm amazed anyone survived those conditions.

Right near the Tenement Museum is a vegan/gluten-free etc. bakery called Babycakes, where I got this crazy, cute cookie sandwich thing. It's a teeny tiny bit expensive, but pretty impressive for not using animal byproducts!

It's been a good couple of days. Now it's time to creep ashamedly back to reality on all fours, head bowed and ready to work. I'm getting kind of worried that I don't take my work seriously anymore. I think I overcompensated with enthusiasm at the beginning of the year.

NYU: Faux-pas

Relationships seem so complicated to me. Especially the beginnings. Not only the romantic ones, even though I think that I may be on the brink of one? but just with all people. There's this weird sense that you don't know anything about the other person, and it's true to some extent; people often fall into your life seemingly from out of nowhere. Then there's a process of learning all about them, what their beliefs and memories are, and how they see the world. I'm making it sound tedious, like I don't enjoy it, but I do enjoy it. It's just that there are all these weird social norms and subtleties to the art of befriending a new person. (I can't imagine having to abide by all the superfluous rules of something like Victorian society.) It's probably not all that, but I guess my problem lies in how to act friendly without being annoying or clingy.

Lately, I've been discovering that I'm kind of a rude person. By "lately" I don't even mean "lately;" I mean "the past four months or so." Realizing this makes me very grateful to have the friends I do, because they understand that my sense of humor involves a lot of insincere insults that are really meant in the most affectionate of ways. My upbringing was strange, in that my family has never been a particularly affectionate one in the physical sense. It is true that, probably because of this, I have a high sense of respect for other people's personal space. But maybe too much so.

Dorm Delightfulness on the Cheap

Katherine of BackGarage sent me this really cool article from the New York Times about the creative ingenuity of college students in their dorms. Some of the ideas these people dream up are amazing!

The only thing that makes me cluck a bit at the article is that a lot of the students showcased go to design schools! I mean, obviously they're going to be amazing and put all the rest of us to shame. I wish I had the cleverness they did. But I do think there's something to be said for discovering frugality during the college years.

Personally, I have been spending more money than I'd like to lately. But a lot of it is on necessities like food and shampoo, stuff like that. So I'm not really stretching my budget, per se. However, I can hardly dream of spending anything on design-ish things right now, because I'm all about function over fanciness haha. Make no mistake, though, I would love to have a more personalized dorm space. My current room, as you probably noticed in my post on Gramercy, features two measly posters and a lot of blank wall. I'm just cheap. Furthermore, NYU doesn't allow us (technically) to bring in outside furniture. Whatever, I'm making excuses for my lack of creativity.

For now it's nice to look at the pretty pictures in the article and be jealous of the creativity of others! Thanks so much for the link Katherine!

Positivity

I was just about to write a moany, bad mood sort of post about fashion in New York and at NYU, and how I feel inadequate and poor. But then my brain, already having jumped into procrastination mode, told me to check iCiNG and lo! She has written an article (or a "reminder" as she titles it) about not comparing yourself to others in a negative sense. I'm so happy I found her site; I think I stumbled upon it over the summer, and it is wonderful. I highly recommend it. I may even start "Things I Love Thursday" on this blog, because I think it is a very positive way of looking at your life, and that is something I do far too seldom.

NYU: Study Abroad Apps and Political Woes

So much to do and such a little memory to remember it all with! A lot of my friends have been asking me lately, "When do you find out about study abroad in Paris for next semester? Yay for you and yay for study abroad!" And, wisely, I have answered them with, "Oh, that deadline hasn't come up yet." Because I knew that there were at least two deadlines. BUT. I just checked tonight and found that I missed the first one and that the second of the two recommended deadlines (i.e. everything after #2 means "you may regret your propensity for procrastination for the rest of your life") is in about two weeks.

So I finally began putting into action the epic plan I have had since May of weaseling my way into friendship with my Translation professor from last semester. I sent her an e-mail asking to bother her at her office hours, and I really hope she responds, because I need her to sign forms for me confirming my proficiency at French. (This is so that I can do the more immersion-geared program.) Don't worry, I'm not going to make her sign the form the first time I see her for this year. I will save that for weasely meeting no. 2. I have it all worked out. I just hope it... you know, works out.

***

In other news, I watched the presidential debate tonight and was very intimidated by the knowledge of my peer college-goers on all the issues being debated. I didn't really understand a lot of the debate, because they kept talking over it, which is understandable, but I have decided to educate myself by reading up online. Sadly, I am so averse to politics that I have found a multitude of things to do online in the past hour rather than read about the candidates' stances. I'm probably a bad person. What did you think about the debate?

NYU: Remembering

Last night, when A and I got back from dinner and grocery shopping (and, unintentionally, waiting for the bus for a half hour), there was a sheet of paper on our entryway floor. We overlooked it at first, but later when I was turning off the hall light, I noticed it and saw that it had a lot of text on it. All those words signified either big trouble or big news to me. When I picked it up to read it, I found that it really meant both.

A boy from our building was struck by a car and killed the other night, walking along the road after partying in Brooklyn. It was shocking to read this horrible news, because he was only a sophomore. I didn't know him, but it brought up a lot of thoughts about similar incidents. I'm not very emotional about people I don't personally know, but I did experience a brief but intense wave of what I guess was anger when I read about this boy's unfortunate passing. How completely unnecessary and unfair it is, and how sudden.

NYU is known for its high suicide rate. I was not aware of this gruesome fact until I came here, but it is definitely part of our school culture, as awful as that is. The school even rigged all dorm windows to open a mere three inches when suicides spiked a few years ago. Last Fall, there were about four suicides within the first month, if I remember correctly. The details were obviously and wisely concealed, but everyone speculated that it was the classic reactions of freshmen unaccustomed to the one-small-face-in-a-huge-crowd atmosphere of NYU. It is hard to make yourself seen or heard here. And it is hard to grow into yourself when the community is so spread out - NYU stretches from the Financial District up to Gramercy and Murray Hill now, and it can be hard to find friends in this housing situation, not to mention in the multiple schools of NYU. But there is no sense in generalizing these insignificant facts to the lives and deaths of such unique students.

NYU tries a lot of things to bring this enormous community together and offer year-round emotional support for those who need it, but there are a lot of variables they simply can't control. This latest death has really accentuated such limitations - the accident occurred in a totally different borough, and it was not connected with NYU or academics at all.

I just hope the boy from Gramercy Green was able to do the things he wanted and enjoyed in the short time he lived on this earth, and that maybe this unfortunate event will inspire others to make the most of their experiences, not just at NYU but in life.

Thanks to Wikimedia for the image.

NYU: Music Movie and Musings

Tonight I went to see a free pre-screening of Nick and Norah's Infinite Playlist. Lots of free screenings lately, I know. I love my school. But anyway, I went to see it with A, C, and J. If we made a band, our acronym could be JACA. Or CAJA. Caha! Haha.

The movie was really good, but it was funny to realize that the movie's typical teenage portrayal of romance and true love was what I once believed to be absolute and invariable. I thought that was how it happened to everyone and how it would happen to me. Meet across a room, go on some crazy adventure in one night, have a connection/sex, then be in love forever once the credits rolled and life went on.

I like to think I am more emotionally and psychologically experienced now, and that my relationships with people are so comfortably mature that I can brush off the expectancy of that teenagery little stereotype. But it is nice to imagine having that sort of cute and fun love with someone. Michael Cera is adorable, after all. As some of our fellow moviegoers were talking about though, he does get typecast something awful.

***

In actual New York and NYU news, I had a Harvey Dent sort of day yesterday. Let me explain, even though I already know you know I mean two-faced.

Long story short, the first half of my day was great - research topics in my language change seminar, cute baby video in Human Development, fun awkward times in German, blah blah blah nobody cares. But after work I had my first session for a French-English translation class. I'm taking it for this translation certificate. IT SUCKS. We are starting off with legal translation, and I don't even know legal terminology in English!! I am so worried about this class that I am seriously considering dropping it, which I've never EVER done before, or taking the online version, taught by a (hopefully) better teacher.

I won't go into it much more, but at least now there is bloggular evidence that I do dislike some things about my life right now... lame I know

NYU: Environments

Today I've had an awful migraine. It affected me even at work, because the after-school elementary crowd decided to play "run around and scream and fall down and be totally insane," which is a game I would never ever recommend to anyone. Unless maybe you are homeless and you do that kind of thing to be an awesome spectacle for city folk.

In spite of my headache, I actually had a really great day. I love my Tuesday-Thursday classes, and I am so pleased with the choices I've made during my college career thus far. Blah blah blah I am the most annoying person you have ever met! Anyway, I also saw a free pre-screening of Burn After Reading, with Brad Pitt, George Clooney, John Malkovich et al. It was amazing; the Coen brothers are my new favorite (late on the bandwagon, I know), and my friends A, J and I laughed a whole lot. Brad Pitt is so adorable in it.

Today I also thought a bit about my mindset this year, comparing it to last year's. I definitely think that my living situation has a lot to do with my level of happiness. Last year, I was depressed about my view and my suitemate (my roommate S, on the other hand, was the best). I didn't like the neighborhood, because the main Canal Street area of Chinatown is absolutely horrid.

This year, I love so much more about where I am. I have a great apartment, with a wonderful roommate; I know some awesome people on my floor; the floor is planning a lot of great activities; and the neighborhood is much more peaceful but also culturally rich. Did I ever mention I had Sri Lankan food when my mom was here? Another painfully huge highlight of the area is the Blender Theater at Gramercy (photo via that link), which is literally two blocks away. In November, my favorite band ever, Jack's Mannequin, is playing there, and I am looking forward to the ticket sales opening!! (When the presale sold out, I thought it was the regular sale and I was really sad.)

Things are slowly but surely getting back into the swing of the Fall semester, and I'm really looking forward to it. This is not the last of the great news for this year!

NYU: Gramercy Green

Here they are, the long-awaited photos of my apartment-style dorm at Gramercy Green. I am in room 1101, which is a 2-person studio on the inner, south-facing side of Gramercy, which is shaped like a U. Click the photos for bigger versions.

	Here is our door. Entrez, si vous l'osez! My mom made that tulip welcome sign for A when she was bored.
	Our entryway is kind of bare still. I want to get some affordable framed paintings or photos from the street fair next time it rolls around to our street.
	Our kitchen is positively glorious for living in student housing. (The building was previously going to be luxury condos, so we lucked out. :P) At least in my opinion. The only problem is that all the smoke detectors in the building are extremely sensitive and they are located right past the archway near the stove haha. We've had about 9 fire drills now, because people have burnt eggs and such (and then "resolve" it by opening their front doors, successfully spreading the smoke to the main sensors).
	Our small dining area and the view from our large windows. I confess, I've spied many a neighbor from here. NYU students have no shame haha. Jk. Maybe.
	Backtracking a bit, toward the kitchen again and turning left, we have the bathroom. I love so many things about it; for example, the separate light in the shower area is pretty sweet.
	More of the bathroom. Weird tiling, eh? Our ceiling in here is weirdly tall. But the resulting enormous cabinets are a nice plus.
	This is my side of the room (left of the windows). It's pretty messy and currently rather sparsely decorated, because I'm stingy. But I decided this is not clutter since I know the exact location of all my belongings at school. :P
	Uhhh that's not my super messy desk area... :O
	A's side! I did ask her for permission to post this and the part of the door earlier. I'm not a horrible roommate, I swear.
	The lights I fashioned to be a pretty heart over the archway. My mom suggested this when she was here, so our neighbors could see the masterpiece haha.
	Closet. Kinda ugly.
	Our view. We face kind of southwest and it's much better than last year! So much ♥ ♥ ♥

P.S. I changed the layout of the blog, because I was getting tired of the dots. I think this looks more professional. It's still not my own design, it's Blogger's, but what do you think? Like/no like?

New York: IOU

I wanted my second post from New York to have pictures of my apartment-style dorm (the photo on the left is Madison Square Park and the MetLife tower, not my dorm!), but I haven't gotten around to taking the photos, and I have also been kind of busy. I had three interviews for internships, two of which were crappy, and the third of which I scored but then lost because of my hectic schedule. I'm kind of upset about that, because they were offering $15/hr. But it would have made my life hell to have that job and my other job (I was planning to work both), plus classes, music and the AAWA (I'm on the E-board :3).

So this is just a quick post to tide you over until I can prepare a feast of fabulous photos for your face. In fact, here's an interesting New York related article for you to read in the meantime: Secrets of a Hipster Hooker. EDIT: 5/3/09 I think the article has since been taken down. I thought it was really interesting, but of course I would never consider living that life for myself. The article is via iCiNG, which I'm really starting to love.

The girl who writes iCiNG, Gala, is from New Zealand and she spent some time in New York. Her enthusiasm for this place really makes me appreciate it more. I honestly think she has helped me change my attitude from the typical NYU state of mind - "Oh I'm going to a super rich school in New York and I'm so awesome I should never smile or be useful" - to my own pleasant state of mind - "I really like where I am, and I enjoy all these people being around me in this fantastic setting."

Thanks to IGoUGo for the photo. :)

New York: Settling In

As I sit here listening to the goodbye mix my friend L made me, I can't help missing my friends from back home in California. There are so many things here that I want to be able to share with them in person. For example, I know they would love the fact that I passed a restaurant called Teriyaki Boy this morning on my way to help the new freshmen move in. In fact, I wish any of my friends were here - CA or NYU - so I could be out exploring! Most people at NYU are moving in this week. It's nice having my mom here, but she is "elderly" (apparently this is the PC term?? she's not elderly though) and tires easily. However, I am very proud of her because she has made a lot of progress with her health and fitness since last time she was here, and we have done a lot of walking so far!

Today we went to the Metropolitan Museum of Art to see the Turner exhibit. My mother remembered studying him in her college art history courses, and I recalled the name from the Rufus Wainwright song "The Art Teacher" (lyrics), which I love. So we saw it, and it was fascinating! My favorite was Fisherman at Sea. The moonlight caught my attention right away, and I love the movement of the waves under it. All of his paintings are captivating.

My roommate A is moving in tomorrow! But I have three internship interviews throughout the day, so who knows when I'll get to meet her. I spoke to her on the phone the other night, and it turns out she grinds her teeth at night like me! How awesome are we. Oh God.

A New Day

SO! I'm moved in. It's great. I love it.

There are several sad things about being here, though. Primarily, I can't de-clutter. I am kind of disappointed in myself that I didn't finish the project over the summer. There were definitely times that I told myself, "I've been hanging out a lot with my friends. I love them so much, and I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world!! Oh. Should I be de-cluttering?" As a matter of fact, there were a lot of times I told myself, "I'm sitting around doing nothing... I should probably be de-cluttering... but instead I want to watch this Schnappi video again." God I love Schnappi. Wo ist die Gabel?? (Where is the fork??) But that is all my own fault.

We did make a LOT of progress though. My friends agreed, and I hope you agree, from the few pictures you have seen! It was a great feeling to come home and not be angry at the horrible state of every room! I will definitely be continuing the project when I come home in December for winter break. I wanted to have my mother continue the project and update on the blog while I'm away, but she does not have a camera, and I don't think she would enjoy the project by herself. So our current situation will have to do until I return.

In the meantime, I am situated in my gorgeous 2-person studio in Gramercy Green at NYU. I think that I will continue writing for 13 Years of Clutter while I am in New York for the semester, but the topic will be on my adventures in New York! I looked at a couple of the student blogs for the Steinhardt School of blah blah and blah (it's seriously a super long name), which is where I will be declaring my minor in education this Fall. The blogs were very interesting, and it was totally like playing 6 degrees when I saw the links. (Ex: One of the bloggers is the roommate of my friend from high school who attends NYU.) I liked the idea of a blog related to NYU, since it is such a big dream school, and I know I love it. So I want to share. :)

Speaking of Gramercy, I have been getting a lot of referrals to 13YoC from Google searches about the dorm! Everyone is speculating and envying, so I hope my chronicles of this semester will help ease and also heighten the excitement. I really want to start doing vlogs, but my honest little angel side keeps reminding me that I got an official packet saying "NO FILMING IN HERE YOU NARCISSISTIC COLLEGE HO-BAGS," where HERE is Gramercy Green. Any ideas for creative alternatives to vlogs? Or any unabashed rule-breakers willing to convince me I'm above the law?

P.S. I do still have some content and links saved up for on-topic 13YoC posts, so look out for those too!

Poll

For me, in this personal project, I like the visuals of my progress. The visuals really stimulate my anticipation of a clean and comfortable home. I'm so glad we have the before pictures (and even some afters now)! For other projects that I follow, I am surprised and glad to find that I have something in common emotionally with other "children of hoarders" for example. Before this whole project, I had no idea other people were experiencing the same thing I was.

Please share your thoughts through the poll and/or comments!

I am leaving for New York tomorrow night, but I'm trying to think of a video to film now and post once I arrive in the city. Any brainstorming ideas before Thursday night would be appreciated and credited. :) I'm aiming for simple shots with an expository voiceover, but what should it be about? Hmm...

Bathroom Before and After

A very legit before and after post invites you to feast your eyes on it a mere few lines ahead! Unfortunately, the before pictures aren't very revealing. I thought it was interesting to realize that, when I was taking the before pictures, there were a lot of messy issues that didn't even register in my mind as important to document. We'll talk about that as we go, though. Now, here is our bathroom! Click the photos for larger versions (some are grainy, sorry).

BEFORE

AFTER



It may not look like a lot has changed, but that's because I didn't take pictures of the inside of cabinets and drawers. I decided my reason is confidentiality, when in fact that is a lame reason and the real reason is forgetfulness.



Look closely at the linoleum behind the toilet. Notice how normal in cleanliness it looks? Prior to this it was absolutely caked with dust. 13 years' worth, I daresay. The main thing that prompted me to clean back there was actually pretty gross. I'll let you guess. If you need a hint: that area IS near the toilet...



This ridiculous cart was probably the thing that bothered me most. Why oh why were there FOUR bottles of mouthwash sitting there before? Overall, this cart is just annoying and tacky. I would much much prefer something like this Ikea cabinet, but I think it's a tad too big for the space. Oh yeah, the toothbrushes on the right are mine; I have three because I sometimes forget mine when I go to stay with friends, and they graciously provide me with toothbrushing tools.



You can see in this picture that our manager did some re-caulking of the shower tiles, but he didn't finish. He's kind of a bum. But hopefully he'll finish someday, and our shower will be beautiful.

Tada! Other changes that went down in this de-cluttering adventure: overhaul cleaning of entire floor (including blue rugs that my mom insists on using to cover the whole floor); moving my hamper from the bathroom to my closet; discarding an old radiator that was just wasting space; having our manager come over to fix the drippy faucet and messed up pipes; and clearing out the sink cabinet, medicine cabinet and cart and reorganizing the contents.

It feels nice to have a clean room in the house!

Yard Sale

I am so glad that my grandmother suggested a yard sale at her home this summer! We would never have been able to do it at our apartments, and her yard/garage is a very nice, peaceful space. In fact, our customers kept commenting about it! We had our first sale last Saturday, but we only had 42 customers in 6 hours, and while my grandma and her husband (not my grandfather - long story sorta) made about $40, my mom and I only made $17!

So we tried again today, with cleverer advertising. My step-grandfather put out several signs on the street yesterday morning (last time my grandma insisted the signs not go out till the morning of). 83 customers and 6 hours later, my mom and I had $86 more for our collection, and my grandmother made $177! I did not take pictures today, because I was in a bad mood this morning (I woke up late). But here are some from last weekend! Click photos for larger versions (the ones with our faces don't get bigger cause I'm paranoid).

My mom setting up at 7:30 a.m.!


My childhood dresses. These didn't sell so well either day, I think because they're so out of date (they're from the 90s). After our sale today, we took all the leftover items to Goodwill.


Oddly enough, neither of these items sold! The doll house went from $40 to $20 and finally $15, but nobody wanted it. Just as well, since the roof was missing. I was in love with that table as a child, though! It is kinda crappy looking though, perhaps.


Some old dolls and Thomas the Tank Engine stuff in my rickety old bassinet. Hmm, funny that the pictures I have from last week represent a lot of stuff we did NOT sell! Trust me, though, we sold some good stuff. Today I sacrificed my PlayStation1 and all my games. We got $25 for it all from a young couple with a 3-month-old baby. They got a lot of stuff and there was some confusion with their transaction, but I do know for sure that they paid for the PS1!


High chair and baby dresses. These all sold, actually! Haha finally a good photo.


Some glassware and books. My grandmother had so much glassware; it didn't all sell, unfortunately.


That trapezoid just right of center is "The Music Maker," a harpsichord-like instrument that I tuned after it being out of use for 10 years! Everyone had fun giving it a try with the pick (included) that we set out next to it.


Me and some baby fashion.

This was such a satisfying endeavor, despite the frustration with my grandmother throughout and the occasional boredom. However, as my step-grandfather put it, yard sale customers sure are funny. They buy the craziest stuff, they're friendly, and they love to talk. They really made everything worthwhile! :) What a great relief to get some cash for our clutter!

Promises

I'm so sorry to not be posting very much lately. I can assure you, it's not for lack of de-cluttering. Problems with our bathroom sink and plumbing gave me an excuse to clean out our bathroom, which was already the cleanest room in our house, even though it was pretty gross. Before and after pictures to come soon!

But before that...

I'm having a yard sale with my grandma, her husband, and my mom tomorrow at my grandma's house! We did one last weekend, but we didn't advertise, so the turnout wasn't great (42 people in 6 hours - I made a couple high scores on my phone's Diner Dash game, make no mistake). So we put out some ads for tomorrow and hope to sell everything! I took pictures last time and will take more tomorrow, so those will be coming forthwith! Dang that is an old fogey word.

Sorry to be all teasy and such and not even give a picture on this entry!

Garbage Disposal

My mother's wrist puncture wounds got infected, so that means she now has a huge splint on her left forearm and has to wear a sling. This also means that I have to do most of the housework. I just spent about 75 minutes doing dishes and I noticed, the same as I did a couple days ago when doing dishes, that the black rubber of our garbage disposal opening is a nasty yellow color. I Dawn'd it up and wiped off the crap with a wet paper towel. Much to my disgust, it was filthy!! Not just old (what kind of black fades to yellow anyway?). Feeling very un-green but determined to get the nastiness away from where we clean our dishes, I used many paper towels in the same way to get under the rubber surface, too.

You guys, it looked like FECES. :(

I looked online for ways to thoroughly clean garbage disposals and came upon AskTheBuilder.com. Tim Carter's article primarily offers solutions for smelly garbage disposals, but the ideas are great for everyday switch-flippin'-water-runnin'-food-crushin' fun. He says, in a nutshell:

Grind up the garbage with the water running into the disposal. Then, when it's finished, turn off disposal and stop it up. Fill the sink 2/3 of the way up with water, then add soap generously; finally, let the soapy water run into the disposal and turn the disposal on. The blades will swirl it around, effectively cleaning up that nasty poo-maker. (Ok those two are my words, not his.) There are many more great suggestions at Thrifty Fun.

Thanks to AboutAppliance for today's image.

Housesitting

This past week, I house-sat for a family I've also been babysitting for. The family went on vacation to Disneyland for the younger daughter's 4th birthday and asked me to care for their 2 dogs, 2 cats and 2 rats. It was an interesting experience... culminating, on the last day, with the dogs running away and my mother's wrists being punctured by one of them as we tried to lead them back home. She had to get stitches, and it was very traumatizing, but she'll be ok.

I learned a lot from observing their house. Keep in mind that it's a pretty busy household, but here is what I noticed:

• Box clutter: We had this problem at our apartment, too, of keeping enormous boxes for no reason. And I've talked about it a lot. :) This family had a four-foot tall empty box from a portable air conditioner just sitting in the master bedroom - they got the AC unit two weeks ago, around when I started babysitting! I know that they might want to keep it for the two little girls to play with, but big boxes should have a proper home, either in someone's play area, the garage or in the recycling.


• Clothes: I have a feeling the little girls are a tad spoiled. I love them to death! But they haven't yet learned the value of picking up after themselves. Ok, fine, they are four and eight, but still! Keep those adorable hampers accessible, not jammed in an already-bursting closet. I do like their dresser system, though, when they use it! The eight-year-old has categories for each drawer, and the "star drawer" is specially for pajamas.


• Garbage: It was difficult for me to find a trash can in most rooms of the house. The kitchen didn't even have one! So I used some Safeway bags that I assume were for that purpose. Even more sad, the recycling was hard to find as well. I admit, it may be because I'm not used to their system and they don't need/use labels. But I've found in my own living spaces that having a trash and recycling in each room (or at least most rooms) makes things a lot easier. It's funny how lazy we can be if the recycling is even one room away!

I tidied up as best I could (and as much as I dared, for fear of seeming rude), but I was depressed to see that all my work had been erased when I went back two days later to babysit. Toys and food all over the floor! Kitchen table hardly visible! I guess I shouldn't try to change them if all they're paying me for is animal care and babysitting...

Thanks to Housesitting for the photo. :)

Sites I Like #7: Children of Hoarders

I guess I never realized how ashamed I should have been (by society's standards) of the state of my house. I'm still not ashamed, because I know that it's not entirely my responsibility. But I found an interesting site for the community of children of hoarders.

Today's site: Children of Hoarders

The subtitle of the site says "for the adult children of compulsive hoarders," but I think it's useful for anyone connected to a compulsive hoarder. There are numerous videos on the site, including "Possessed," which I posted about before, showcasing the long-term emotional turmoil that clutter brings with it. The site is just full of resources, and I think it's great that this exists just like communities exist for children of Alzheimer's patients and alcoholics.

There is a well-run forum, too, so you get the full experience of empathy and support. One board in the forum mentions P.I.S.S., which stands for Post-Intervention Stress Syndrome, an unofficial disorder discussed by the COH community. "P.I.S.S." was coined by a COH member and is brought on by the significant anti-climax that comes at the end of a de-cluttering undertaking. Interesting, and what a catchy acronym...

For me, the fact that I couldn't invite people over during my childhood wasn't embarrassing; it was just something that was. It was a fact of life: all my friends could have me over, but having people over at my apartment just wasn't done after about third grade. My friends were all polite about it, but I'm sure they sensed that something bad was the reason they never saw the inside of my home.

And now, the main trouble of having clutter is the tension between my mother and me. It's hard to actually de-clutter without having a fight most times. But now I know I'm not the only one who has had this experience!

Be Even More Greener

Things you may do to be green but may not do the most efficiently:

RECYCLE
In this age of the green trend, more and more Americans are recycling. This is definitely a good thing! But old habits still die hard - you may still choose the wastebasket over the recycling bag out of laziness. I'm certainly guilty of this! But just remember that there are so many things you can recycle! Jewel cases, styrofoam (just find the right service!), many plastics, and the traditional paper/plastic/glass/aluminum. Depending on your location, you might even be able to get money for these things! Think twice about our rising landfills when you want to throw non-biodegradables in that garbage!


SPRING CLEANING
Many people have a great routine set every year for spring cleaning, which I truly admire! But you can always do better. :) Instead of viewing it as a horrible chore that you have to tackle on your own because no one else around the house helps, make it a fun family event! Make a game out of organizing and cleaning out for the kids, and devise rewards for the grown-ups. The outings to Goodwill etc. can be fun mini road trips, too.

SHOPPING GREEN
Shopping green is the best kind of shopping. You feel great about your purchases and can sometimes save money, like when you buy local at the farmer's market. But make sure you get the most out of your experience. Don't buy fancy green products unless you NEED them and will USE them! Otherwise it's just more clutter and a waste of money. For example: knickknacks made of reused plastic bags are great, but are they going to clutter up your home more/will they get any use? Also, try re-using the produce bags when you shop at the farmer's market. I have more about plastic bags if you're interested. :)

Anything I left out?

Thanks to Tales at Twilight for the image.

Safeway is King

Yesterday, my mom and I did a buttload of errands. Some de-cluttering, some not. We were all over the place! The best part of the day was finding the recycling center back behind a nearby Safeway that recycles lots of stuff and offers CRV (California Refund Value). They even take #6 styrofoam (those huge annoying blocks)!!! It was a bit ironic that we found out about the styrofoam though, because we had just tossed a huge collection of styrofoam blocks, after coming up short on recycling resources. (Waste Management told us it counts as garbage in this area so we could throw it out. My mom says they were just trying to steer business their way, which sucks because throwing out styrofoam is SO BAD for the environment!)

Moral of the story: your city probably has some amazing resources that are hidden behind random grocery stores or other weird places! Do some hunting and find these great places.

Anyway, things are looking better every day! I drew up some ideas I had for floorplans when we're ready to move stuff around. I have one for my room and one for the living room. Maybe I'll post them tomorrow! In the meantime, my friend L and I are hosting a hillbilly hootenanny birthday party for ourselves tonight, so I might not post till late tomorrow. :P

Quick Tips

I'm back! I didn't post for a few days because the traffic was really low and it bummed me out. But here's a short and sweet update with some tips:

• A lot of our clutter was huge empty boxes! I don't know how we amassed them, but I think it was the whole "this could come in handy someday" idea. I was kind of relieved that most of the boxes were empty, because it was so easy to just break them down and recycle them. Try ridding yourself of these space Napoleons (=coup d'etat, really bad joke, etc.) today and see how much more open you can make your home.


• Always be careful about letting clutter pile up again once you clear it away. Make sure everything has a place and that things go there! A lot! All the time even! If you don't do this, you might end up using every possible flat surface as storage, like we did, and it can get ugly.


• ARGH BOXES! I'm still bothered by the topic. Let's discuss. Even despite and during this whole process, our living room is still full of boxes, but it's not empty stereo boxes or empty shoe boxes. It's boxes of the things found while de-cluttering that are marked "to keep." Problem is, they're those awful white cardboard boxes with handles that people use for cleaning out their cubicles when it's time to move on. This won't do. I'm thinking of switching them out with something like this in something bright - green or red maybe.


• The whole box thing has resurfaced because I'm making big progress on our front closet. I mentioned that earlier but I'm still really happy because hopefully soon we will have somewhere to put the boxes so that visitors won't be appalled and affronted by them.

Flashback

I've become very fond of seeing the dirt and dust washing off my hands after I take a break from de-cluttering. It's some sort of weird relief, like seeing the burden of the clutter just flowing down the drain.

Today I was working on our front closet, and it made for my favorite kind of de-cluttering: old photo discoveries! It's so weird to see my own face grinning up at me from over ten (and sometimes over fifteen) years ago! I was a cute little butt head. Here are some of my favorite photos so far! Check back later and there might be "after" photos haha. Probably not.

My treasured stuffed tiger. I could never decide on its gender, but s/he is still with me today. Ragged and sad.


Don't blame me, it was the 90s.


"No wonder Clark was such a weird cat." - My mom.


Not a morning person. Even on my birthday. Or maybe I was just irritated at photo time.


That's a shark on my face. I don't know why.

I would put dates to these faces, but a) some don't have them, and b) laziness! Always laziness.